I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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