What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize