he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Randomize
