She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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