I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
