all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
