I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
