I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
