So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
