Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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