I'm lost and stupid without you.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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