My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Randomize
