What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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