im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
