I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
