He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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