I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize