Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
