Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
