He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
