Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
