Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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