I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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