either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
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