just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
