I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
