just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
