got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
