They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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