I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
