you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
