I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
