I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
