how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
