so explain again why im purple
no
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize