I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
