They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
