Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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