Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
