Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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