whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
