Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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