uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
my being single is dangerous.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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