And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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