I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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