...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
