I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
