I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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