They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
