The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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