glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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