It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
