So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
