so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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