Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
