it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
