He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
