I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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