you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
