Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
