She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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