end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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